We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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