he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My ATM looks so different sober.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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