sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
