Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
