He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
