So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
