i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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