We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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