I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's always time for handjobs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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