I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
