i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
