so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
