It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I lost the right to judge tonight
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
