I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
