If i come over, it means nothing
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
