no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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