So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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