i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
