Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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