I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
