He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
