my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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