Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it hurts more in the daytime
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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