quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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