I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
