ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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