Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's rum buckets o'clock
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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