Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
did i walk over a car last night?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
