4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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