I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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