i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
