just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she looked like the before picture.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
