I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
