I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Actions speak louder than pants.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
