So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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