we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i will never coherently bang her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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