I hate all girls vehemently.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
