Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize