ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
