I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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