ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
