why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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