im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Found the puke drawer
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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