so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
