Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
