man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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