Define "chronic" masturbator.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
