About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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