i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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