I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
