Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
