It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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