Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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