But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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