is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
