I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize