They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my liver is dry heaving
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
