Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
