Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
