oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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