bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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