super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
