you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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