watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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