you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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