Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
