The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
