put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
