For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
