I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
