Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
