What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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