Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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