dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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