I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
