two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize