omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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