and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
