If that was your dad, he is hot
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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