Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
