we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
