how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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