Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
