Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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