Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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